Pitter-Stomps

One of the hardest things about getting used to living in the city, in an apartment, is the Pitter-Stomps.

That's our name for the family living in the apartment above us. I've never actually met them, but I feel I've come to know them fairly well from the variations in their routine (as heard from below.) One time, we didn't hear them for several days and I started worrying that they were okay. I envision Mr. Pitter-Stomp as about 6 foot and 500#, Mrs. Pitter-Stomp as about 5'6" and about 300#, and the two Pitter-Stomp children, who must weigh at least 200# a piece and have leather lungs.

On the farm, if you hear water running down inside the walls, it's a bad thing. Here, it means the Pitter-Stomps are showering. On the farm, if you hear loud noises above you, it means you have BIG rats or a tree limb has impacted the roof. Here, it means that the Pitter-Stomps have taken up clog dancing, or caber-tossing, or something. On the farm, if we heard mysterious noises coming from empty rooms, we would assume we had a ghost. Here, it means the younger Pitter-Stomps are practicing their demolition skills. On the farm, the most common noises were goats, chickens, the wind, and the rain. Here, the common noises are thumps, shrieks, vaccuum cleaners, and sirens.

I miss my goats' complaints...I never thought I'd say that.